Front Page News

My street made front page news... and I have no will power to resist.


Published Saturday, February 02, 2008 2:13 AM
Fire danger still fairly low in B-CS
By MATTHEW WATKINSEagle Staff Writer
As the threat of wildfires reaches a critical level in many areas in the state, local observers (okay, I need a list of names of these observers... how do I know they aren't members of the pessimist club) said Friday that the fire danger here is elevated, but not as severe as in other parts of Texas.
At least one grass fire burned Brazos County on Friday, underscoring the need for residents to be careful with outdoor burns, fire officials said. (again... what fire officials? Ned Flanders the volunteer fire official??? Where are the names? I think this guy is just making up sources)
The fire occurred near (ON) Golden Trail Road, east of College Station. Firefighters from the Brazos County Precinct 3 Volunteer Fire Department said the blaze (blaze, what blaze... it was a grass fire, they should really define BLAZE in the dictionary for these guys....) consumed about two acres and was under control about five minutes after they arrived. (Exactly my point, if you can put it out in 5 minutes, it is not a blaze)
The fire did not threaten buildings, but a house under construction was nearby, authorities said. (the house under construction was the CAUSE of the blaze.... THEY were the ones burning)
Firefighters said they believe the blaze was ignited by embers blowing from a controlled burn about 10 yards away. (Reinactment of the cause will take about 3 months while the grass grows back)
Strong winds, low humidity and (TALL) dry grass are the cause of the elevated threat across the state, fire officials said. (Matches and cigaretts were not implicated as of yet)
"We are in this pattern for the long haul," said Mark Stanford, chief of fire operations for the Texas Forest Service, (finally a named source) in a warning released by the Texas A&M System agency. "Until the grasses begin to green up around April, areas west of I-35 are our main focus for the fire danger." (I am okay with areas west of I-35 burning...)
Observers said cold fronts will bring high winds and extreme danger to areas around Dallas, Lubbock and El Paso on Monday. (These people obviously have never been TO El Paso. It is hard for SAND to BURN) On Tuesday, the danger will move (Like it is packing up and using a U-HAUL) to areas around Brownsville, Corpus Christi, San Antonio, Waco, Abilene and Houston.
Ten counties in Texas have disaster declarations (With the power vested in my by my fire type organization, I hereby declare forthwith that this area be a disaster) because of fire risks, according to the Texas Forest Service.
Gov. Rick Perry's office has activated helicopters from Texas military forces (something deep down in my native texan pride loves to see those three words together) to provide aid and fire suppression. (What were they doing before their activation??) Louisiana has also loaned choppers to help. (They better! or next hurricane they can enjoy the hospitality of Arizona)
The Bryan-College Station area has received some relief from the dangers because of recent moist weather. (moist weather... around here we call it RAIN)
"That has helped us, and a cold front that is moving through will give us a little more rain," said Pat Schaub of the Texas Forest Service, adding that caution remains important. (Ms. Schaub does what exactly??? Weather woman, Count squirrels, hand out pamplets?)
"It doesn't take long for the grass itself to dry out. It is easy to get complacent."(The grass is getting Complacent?) she said. "I am not trying to diminish the risk. It is better here than others, but people still need to be careful." (Here's your pamplet)
Brazos County commissioners rescinded (withdrew, cancelled, repealed, quashed) their moratorium on all outdoor burning last week but will consider reinstating a 90-day ban at their meeting Tuesday (which they do EVERY Tuesday that they meeting so it is not like they are ADDING it to the docket).
Milam County and Robertson County were the only areas in the Brazos Valley under burn bans as of Friday. (And two ducks found a chicken - the point is WHO CARES)
Still, safety officials (Who... What safety officials? I think this guy DREAMED it all up) warn all residents (visitors can ignore these) to take precautions, including removing dry vegetation from under electric fences (Please turn the electric fence OFF before you clear) , storing flammable liquids properly (where's my pamplet?) and placing barbecue grills on concrete (even if they are NOT lite). They forgot to mention "don't run through tall grass with corduroy on!"
For more fire safety tips visit http://txforestservice.tamu.edu.
• Matthew Watkins' e-mail address is matthew.watkins@theeagle.com.

Since they didn't get a picture of the devistation that the BLAZE caused....I did!